School Registration...Sigh

Hey guys.
I feel a little whistful and, oh I don't know, nostalgic? Middle school, the years I thought would go on forever, have been and gone. High schools coming up and I admit that I am completely scared. I met somone who I haven't seen for like, three years at registration today. Molly came with Arie and Yoski and Krissie to stay there all day. I saw people from last year, exchanging few words as I passed them in the gloomy hallways. School just sneaks up on you, huh? I mean, what happened to summer? Familiar faces that I have seen since I started school disappear, off to other schools like TCA. What has happened? Why do years fly by like this. The few special moments that I treasure were only slight glimpses of years passed. It's as though my eyes are opening to the fact that there is much more in life then school, but I don't know how to handle it. I am slowly but surely embracing the fact that most of my worries and fears, are caused because I wouldn't know how to take control of the situation anyway. And if I'm truthful with myself, I realize that the most important thing to me for so long, school, is no more than an eighth of my whole life. But have any of you ever wondered, what is the purpose? Where is the drive? Why does everyone else seem to have a dream? You see, I''m still searching for that in my life. I'm still looking, straining to see a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel. Many time I sit back, unfocused on my work , and think what I would like to do with my life. As of now, I see that I have to take school, then tougher school, and then get a job where I will work out most of my life. I feel set apart from everyone in that I feel lost among them. They all seem to have dreams and hopes. Today I went back to offer my help at registration and slowly felt myself slip back into the school mentality. I am still searching for a light, what about you?
Sorry, I feel like I'm writing in a diary, but really, these last few months have been tough. Strike that, years. Not to seem poetic, but I have become mighty weary from all of this chaos in my life right now. But being with some of my friends (Arie and Yoski who I hope don't read this but they never check my blog anyway) it gave me a chance to practice putting on my uniform again and go on pretending. Pretending that nothing is wrong. I do have to say, that if it was my choice, I would be completely isolated from everyone. But that gets you nowhere. Note to everyone; it is extremely difficult to mingle with others when you have to try. I hope to work on my social problems later. For right now, I need direction. Have any of you, (I am talking to non-followers too) had this problem? If so, what did you do about it if you cam through it? Could you send me an email telling me what you did in your situation? Thank you!
Whew! Glad to get that off my chest. Sorry this was kind of depressing, but you don't have to read it. I like to think that this blog is just my personal diary that people can read and comment on! No, never mind, strike that, I think I said that wrong. Anyway, I gtg. See ya!
-Jayzk